tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248748352024-03-05T05:37:10.755-06:00Living With Integrity - Authenticity and Love<center>Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. - I Timothy 4:12</center>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-44894241102144098972009-05-25T18:08:00.004-05:002009-05-25T18:12:50.210-05:00Mixed Orientation MarriagesThis moving <a href="http://www.gaychristian.net/gcnradio/gcn052209.mp3">interview with Carol Boltz </a>(wife of contemporary Christian music artist, Ray Boltz) is timely and poignant.<div><br /></div><div>She shares candidly about her family's experiences when Ray came out last year. </div><div><br /></div><div>The thing that I think is most touching is that through her words listeners can see themselves more clearly, no matter what side of this difficult issue they may be.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is easy to forget the media and hype about a Christian "celebrity" and remember that we are all just people with dreams, hopes, fears and struggles. </div><div><br /></div><div>It ends with a challenge to the church and a dream for what is possible if the church began to reach out to its LGBT members and supported them and loved them as Christ does.</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-24898273692563147862009-03-14T00:29:00.006-05:002009-03-14T19:27:31.769-05:00Through My Eyes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoq-N1QdEtoYRVuQlYoKhRqbUaDuwmUcpCZctnm_aI0y2itcdMkMuUjjHHOLhkMRjIHrCbL0-l2b1j-S7bWxgLejUTcEK4EUTv4MEmww5zrZljk0J33ynaLOfBWRnhqMHuA7yJ/s1600-h/Through+My+Eyes+Cover.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoq-N1QdEtoYRVuQlYoKhRqbUaDuwmUcpCZctnm_aI0y2itcdMkMuUjjHHOLhkMRjIHrCbL0-l2b1j-S7bWxgLejUTcEK4EUTv4MEmww5zrZljk0J33ynaLOfBWRnhqMHuA7yJ/s320/Through+My+Eyes+Cover.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5312915731397880738" /></a>GCN (The Gay Christian Network) just announced the release of a brand new documentary called <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.throughmyeyesdvd.com/">Through My Eyes</a>.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "></span></span><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; ">The documentary tells the stories of several Christian young people...through their eyes. It is made up of them telling their stories from their perspectives on what it means to be gay and Christian.</span></span><div><br /></div><div>It is a great resource for churches, youth groups and individuals to spark conversation and to hear "the other side".</div><div><br /></div><div>For so long there have been barriers between the church and gay Christians. Now there is tool for a dialogue to begin. Please check it out!</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LBMbNSyqwkA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LBMbNSyqwkA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><br /></div></div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-19791225061576782312009-01-25T14:59:00.007-06:002009-01-25T15:44:44.845-06:00For Such a Time as This...In the Old Testament, Queen Esther was asked a rhetorical question that has come to symbolize all the poignancy and the potential of the courage it takes to face destiny and act in the face of fear.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"Who knows if you h</span><span style="font-style: italic;">ave come to the Kingdom for such a time as this...?"</span><br /></div><br />Last night, I watched <a href="http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/prayers-bobby"><span style="font-style: italic;">Prayers for Bobby</span></a> on the <a href="http://www.mylifetime.com/">Lifetime</a> channel. This is the true story of a Christian mother coming to terms with the suicide of her gay son. Because of the subject matter, it is at once heart-rending but also uplifting.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwnJPzfkdo0k0fgceH-Yt9xd4U1aW7tZdkBQ4bkM0nLeBSFgeTUGqT23QxoxWWrwlidur6p19l8nRv2IZTa1fpH3e9O3EoHmcm2z_YWeLyObQre6ZZFdvLvcCj5-A25MNt53gu/s1600-h/Bobby.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 142px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwnJPzfkdo0k0fgceH-Yt9xd4U1aW7tZdkBQ4bkM0nLeBSFgeTUGqT23QxoxWWrwlidur6p19l8nRv2IZTa1fpH3e9O3EoHmcm2z_YWeLyObQre6ZZFdvLvcCj5-A25MNt53gu/s320/Bobby.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295342306717069506" border="0" /></a><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/y78m84V29DQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/y78m84V29DQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />(view the trailer)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">It shows that from the deepest agony and the bitterest sorrow and the most intense regret can grow the greatest courage, love and virtue.<br /><br />Although this incident happened several decades ago, something in me knows that this film is for our time.<br /><br />This film is <span style="font-style: italic;">essential</span>. Why? Because my brothers and sisters still suffer. They cry. They depress. And they die. And it is enough.<br /><br />Those of us who claim the name of Christ should have been the first to speak for the unspoken for, not the last. We are here. We must appear. We must speak. We must be.<br /><br />And we must each--gay, straight, human--speak with kindness and love. Let us err on the side of love. And let the words of Bobby's mother be our admonition.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and<br />remember, a child is listening." <br /><br /></div></div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-62076611941221893252009-01-21T13:34:00.003-06:002009-01-21T13:42:04.634-06:00Character: Assets and LiabilitiesOccasionally our lives are blessed with people who cause us to be the highest version of ourselves. <br /><br />By their quiet actions and soft words they inspire the best within us and profoundly change the way we live our lives. They alter us by jarring us from the fantasy world of mindless thought and ill-chosen actions to the reality of conscious and focused habit.<br />I had such a jarring experience recently.<br /><br />My most valuable asset is the friend who inspires me to be the best version of myself. In this sense, I am so wealthy!<br /><br />I've always wanted to be a person of good character. But sometimes I just am not. I'm weak. I make excuses. And honestly, there's a certain comfort in doing the easy thing.<br /><br />Recently there was an experience I had in which I was making excuses to myself. It felt good to follow the path of least resistence. Perhaps you know this path. First I made excuses to myself. Then I allowed myself "flex" space...I'll go with the flow...up to a certain point.<br /><br />That was when a friend stood strong and said, "no." There was no accusation and no shame...just the unbending 'no.' <br /><br />Afterwards, I was so thankful. I hope I will be just such a friend.The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-42244960628212958652009-01-16T08:00:00.001-06:002009-01-16T08:00:00.770-06:00The Shame of ThoughtlessnessAbout a year ago, I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. It was this: every moment of our lives we choose to be the man or woman that we become!<br /><br />It may seem obvious, but I remember standing in my bathroom looking myself in the eye and thinking, “This is not the person I am.” With that realization, I immediately began living according to the dictates of the character that I desired.<br /><br />Each of us faces our internal demons and often we fall prey to actions based in habits unconsciously formed. It is at this point that the shame of our thoughtlessness continually barrages our minds.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdYKhaGInt9IopCfAhCbM1jhcM0yFj8S_8WK4E9yx9-enBnD-eCgCn0GCyi7tqTpKLeYGcK1Ya_SSrMBBYMqf-p4PyWotSoo2hSXUKyuyeRMaFJceCSW69_pNEYZnSMnakcKII/s1600-h/man+in+mirror.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 246px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdYKhaGInt9IopCfAhCbM1jhcM0yFj8S_8WK4E9yx9-enBnD-eCgCn0GCyi7tqTpKLeYGcK1Ya_SSrMBBYMqf-p4PyWotSoo2hSXUKyuyeRMaFJceCSW69_pNEYZnSMnakcKII/s320/man+in+mirror.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5290999608309139186" border="0" /></a><br />We think thoughts such as “How could I have done that?” or “What was I thinking?”<br /><br />The truth is often that we are not thinking at all. Yet when our mind catches up to us, we feel ashamed that we have been making choices and living so unconsciously.<br /><br />But it is precisely at the moment of renewed consciousness when we are most powerful. That moment of presence is the time to make better (or different) choices. It is in that moment of lucidity that our power lies.<br /><br />At those moments, our souls stand before a spiritual mirror and ask who we are and who we will become. It is in the power of our will to answer that question—to choose what manner of man or woman we will be.The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-61230614654698404512009-01-13T15:23:00.004-06:002009-01-13T15:27:57.320-06:00I'm Back!I'm back!<br /><br />I'm not only back to the world of blogging--meaning I now have a computer again--but I am also back from the annual conference of the Gay Christian Network (GCN) which was held in Anaheim, California last week.<br /><br />During the week, I had the distinct blessing to meet with several other bloggers for dinner. We discussed several topics relevent to blogging, but mostly just initiated and nurtured friendships.<br />It was a great event, and I encourage you to look in to attending a future event with this organization.<br /><br />Just an aside...on the last post, I wrote about the idea of holiness versus purity. Well, it's interesting, because I was reading some news wires a few weeks ago and read an article that indicated that the "purity" movement had done nothing to stem the tide of pre-marital sex but instead seemed to correspond to an increase in the spread of STDs. <br /><br />I hope to be blogging now a little more regularly. Thanks to those of you who have stayed with me during this "off" time.The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-69351563953101813712008-10-09T13:26:00.003-05:002008-12-05T14:04:16.306-06:00HolinessI have neglected this blog over the past several weeks—which have stretched in to months. So I apologize to anyone who is still out there who might read it. (Even if it just pops up on your reader).<br /><br />I enjoy blogging, but have been without a computer for several months now, so I only have access at work or if I go to the library or some other public place. However, I do want to start being more intentional with posting to this blog.<br /><br />In the previous post, I wrote about the idea of purity. Now, I would like to present some contrasting thoughts on holiness.<br /><br />One might argue that these two words are synonymous and that this is merely an exercise of semantics. I would like to point out the simple distinction—as I see it—that purity is what we think of ourselves or how others think of us; whereas holiness, to me, is a condition of the heart and mind.<br /><br />Holiness speaks to character—the who that we are. Purity speaks to culture—the what (or image) that we or others see. <br /><br />Why is this distinction of fundamental importance? Essentially, the answer is because holiness is what God sees when He looks at us. The Scripture tells us that man looks on the outward (purity) image, but God sees our heart (holiness) condition.<br /><br />In Scripture we’re also instructed to “be Holy” as our Father in Heaven is holy. At first, I think a lot of Christians just skim over that commandment because we all know that we can’t be like God. Doesn’t Romans say that we’ve all “fallen short”?<br /><br />And so we castigate ourselves each time we stumble, while at the same time excusing ourselves for missing the mark that we see as unattainable. <br /><br />But I believe God’s call to holiness is a plea for our heart. By instructing us to be holy, He is saying, “be like me.” Even earthly parents delight when their children grow up to be like them. <br /><br />God is saying, “I want you to have a heart like I have.” God’s heart of holiness consists of so much more than a set of rules we adhere to or a series of ethical codes by which we live our lives. God’s heart is infinitely lovely, just, pure, true, kind, considerate, compassionate and good.<br /><br />So perhaps instead of taking purity pledges, we should determine to seek after the heart of God. Perhaps we should seek to be good rather than to be right. (And I have a feeling that when we seek after God’s heart and become like him, the other issues will fall in to line perfectly and without guilt or shame).The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-28717591607439015502008-10-09T13:25:00.006-05:002008-10-20T17:11:42.300-05:00The Problem with Purity<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-TIPw_K0tvUA1rE-lt64KeT5gsLJWkzgDAY0GNMX0GxnyW8dSptvSs128dr3LhHn395FkVIhwITaRX3LE4qV9hLD7bLb1jhSLyesJczZZLWVw2-xsDt5yRksgJnVwNJnDliSx/s1600-h/purity+rings.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259361747806079602" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 111px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 194px" height="198" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-TIPw_K0tvUA1rE-lt64KeT5gsLJWkzgDAY0GNMX0GxnyW8dSptvSs128dr3LhHn395FkVIhwITaRX3LE4qV9hLD7bLb1jhSLyesJczZZLWVw2-xsDt5yRksgJnVwNJnDliSx/s320/purity+rings.jpg" width="139" border="0" /></a>When I was growing up in Middle America in the 80s and 90s, the popular topic for every church youth group was purity. We had purity rallies where we made purity promises sealed with purity rings (or necklaces or other “purity” paraphernalia).<br /><br />Although I understand the intent, in some ways, it <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQg9mKxX6mIvN0oznJSAvTMKYnb_f1Cw9f261tAtS02n7yooN9XCUbS6aOI5R2Re9rAyHWltui2-I095gvtIv8Kj1r2QMSSnt-MAcbUf-TYRHLW1rKhP1StbM6a4_8VWI-zn29/s1600-h/purity+trinkets.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259361806804289154" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 157px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 153px" height="193" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQg9mKxX6mIvN0oznJSAvTMKYnb_f1Cw9f261tAtS02n7yooN9XCUbS6aOI5R2Re9rAyHWltui2-I095gvtIv8Kj1r2QMSSnt-MAcbUf-TYRHLW1rKhP1StbM6a4_8VWI-zn29/s320/purity+trinkets.jpg" width="146" border="0" /></a>seems to ensure that we stayed focused on the superficial…the topics—as it were—and not the real issues. Maybe that’s how the devil wants it.<br /><br />You see, if we focus on purity, we become self-absorbed. We constantly focus on what behaviors (physical or psychological) make us pure or impure and we stay caught up in the pursuit of this state of purity.<br /><br />The other night I heard Dr. Phil say something that stuck with me. He was advising a couple on the brink of divorce<br /><br />He said, “We often argue about the topics—such as who left the dirty laundry out, or whose turn it is to pick up the kids when we should really be discussing the issues—trust, love and integrity.”<br />What is true for romantic relationships is true for us as Christians. When it comes to morality, we often talk a lot about the topics (purity) and not about the real issue (holiness).<br /><br />Our “purity” becomes a spiritual badge of honor that we proudly display to everyone around us. It is a ruler by which we measure the shortcomings of others. In the worse case, it becomes the switch by which we self-castigate.<br /><br />Whether our sense of purity leads to arrogance (i.e. “I’m better than you”) or to false humility (i.e. shame—“I’ll never measure up”) it is equally destructive.<br /><br />Our obsession often leads to arrogance and a critical spirit. But it seems that more Christians suffer from the sense of shame and self-loathing that is brought on by not being pure enough.<br /><br />As new Christians, we are taught that all of us “fall short” of God’s glory. No matter what we do, we will never measure up. There is this inherent sense of failure built in to our salvation, regardless of how hard we try to live purely<br /><br />But Christ desires our freedom. We are set free from “the curse of the law.” When He frees us, the Word declares that we are “free indeed” (or free for sure!). What did Christ say about why He came? “I have come that you might have abundant life.”<br /><br />God’s Word does speak of our shortcomings. Christ himself said, “I’ve come to call sinners to repentance.” However, our lives should not be governed by the pursuit of the unattainable and selfish state of purity, but rather, we should live holy lives. Christ calls us to holiness…and that is a different matter altogether.<br /><br />It is a call to freedom. It then becomes not about what we do, but about who we are.The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-37529846070539053582008-10-09T13:20:00.002-05:002008-10-09T13:25:01.026-05:00Blessing of InconvenienceSometimes inconveniences are really a blessing.<br /><br />Last week, I was in line at Burger King waiting for my lunch. It wasn't terribly busy, as I take my lunch later in the day. The noon rush was over. <br /><br />I waited patiently, but I only have a 1/2 hour lunch break, so as the time dragged on, I was a bit concerned. <br /><br />Finally, the employee at the counter told the manager that I'd been waiting nearly ten minutes for my sandwich. The manager turned to the ladies in back (who'd been just standing there -- in plain sight of the customers -- chatting up a storm). Within moments, I had my sandwich.<br /><br />On the way out, the counter employee asked if I wanted a Hershey pie to take on my way.<br /><br />I quickly accepted. As I left the restaurant the idea of inconvenience being a blessing came to mind and I realized that there are all sorts of "inconveniences" in my life that are actually blessings.The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-38885152906821082442008-08-13T14:51:00.000-05:002008-08-13T14:52:34.147-05:00Answers and The Uncertainty of DoubtWhat happens when you get what you want?<br /><br />For me, a sense of boredom always seems to set in. I soon find myself looking for the next best thing—whether it be professional or personal.<br /><br />We spend so much time searching, looking here and there, yearning for what our heart desires. But what happens when the yearning is over? What happens when you find that you have found what you are searching for?<br /><br />For me this happened when I quit searching. But it wasn’t a conscious thing. It was a process and a decision made as I grew and matured emotionally. I didn’t realize that it was happening at the time. <br /><br />As soon as I quit grasping, what I was looking for appeared before my eyes. Now, I am experiencing the uncertainty of doubt. I am mildly cynical perhaps. I ask myself, “Is this <em>really </em>what I’m looking for?”<br /><br />I am still surprised every time that the answer comes back to me.<br /><br /><strong> </strong><em>Yes, it is!</em>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-36378566031904771302008-08-11T16:37:00.002-05:002008-08-11T16:37:51.951-05:00Desire (Not the Streetcar)The heart’s desire. What is it that my heart truly desires? <br /><br />All of my life, there has been a sense of “not enough”. A desire for more. And I often wondered if this yearning would ever be satiated. Would the feeling of lack ever be assuaged? Would the feeling that there is something still to be achieved ever be filled?<br /><br />I had become gripped by this sense of incompleteness until it became normal. <br /><br />And then last week, I had a <em>eureka</em> moment! I suddenly saw my desire as a gift from the hand of God.<br /><br />Scripture says that He gives us the “desire of our hearts”. And I had often recognized Him as the source of my desires. But I had always equated my desires with my ambitions. <br /><br />Last week I recognized the gift of the desire itself. The desire to achieve a goal—the ambition, the drive—is the gift. The motivation to achieve comes from the hand of God.<br /><br />When we surrender to His direction with childlike trust, we are able to walk in faith, and fear is abolished. When we trust, we surrender and beauty begins to fill our lives. Happiness fills our days and contentment in the midst of uncertainty comforts and guides us.<br /><br />(This post has not gone in the direction I had planned, but I think there’s some good here, so I’ll post again in a subsequent post more along the lines of what I’d originally intended)The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-55804579631800551772008-07-22T10:10:00.002-05:002008-07-22T10:16:09.059-05:00The Love of God<blockquote><p>I have accidentally fallen in love with Jesus Christ. Yet, the more I know about him, the less I feel like a "Christian".</p></blockquote><p><br /><br />This quote from Otrolado's <a href="http://thinkreasonquestionpray.blogspot.com/2008/07/darn-it-jay.html">latest post</a> struck a chord with me. So succinct, yet so telling. When I look into Christ's face, I see in His eyes my own hipocracies and short-comings. Yet I do not see judgement or condemnation. Instead I find love. What amazing grace this is!</p><p>And it is in that love that I am healed and restored. And it is that love that I extend then to other people. And I am reminded that "nothing...shall separate us from the love of God."<br /></p>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-39905772500539669192008-07-18T15:27:00.001-05:002008-07-18T15:29:41.207-05:00The "Right One"(I apologize in advance for the philosophical tone of this post...unless you enjoy philosophy. Then I hope you enjoy.)<br /><br />How do you know if someone’s the “right one”?<br /><br />Is it all luck? Is it some cosmic mix of luck, intervention by Providence and hard work? Or do you just “make it work” in whatever situation or relationship you find yourself?<br /><br />Maybe we’re asking the wrong questions. Maybe we shouldn’t be asking these questions at all. Maybe we should be active in <em>living</em> the answers. Maybe.<br /><br />I struggle to free myself from the tendency to jump into the “what ifs” and questions that lead to uncertainty and greater questioning.<br /><br />The questions that we ask so often arise from our mind’s need to control our situations and circumstances. But control is something we <em>feel</em>, not something that is real. In reality, we have no control, but we do not want to admit this fact.<br /><br />Instead, we create questions and formulas and protocols for finding the “right one.” The “right one” just is. In fact, all of life just <em>is</em>. There is no magic formula. There is no luck. There is. That’s all.<br /><br />All that remains is acceptance.The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-2982925477911286712008-07-05T13:23:00.001-05:002008-07-05T13:23:00.719-05:00Expectations, Assumptions and CommunicationWe are all <em>so</em> different. I know this is stating the obvious, but I was struck again last night with how distinctly different we all are as human beings. We think differently, process differently and communicate differently.<br /><div></div><br /><div>And the weird part is that I can't imagine being any different than I am. So it's hard to understand where another person is really coming from.</div><div></div><br /><div>To throw more difficulty into the process, our minds create expectations and then assumptions based on our experiences. These often become roadblocks that blind us from objectivity.</div><div></div><br /><div>So how can I break the power of my own assumptions and expectations? Well, I suppose the main way would be not to create them in the first place. That is an ongoing reconditioning, though. First, I have to be aw<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqvD5W516MbEI32KddPXyti6bzlnrKPlH8KRzm5IvvNV721zayH1PeEuvW5-hvLCJRORq9RGSygRvjxQ2AhWDewmHuldpS63GZpWxMAqgFoy85RbnvUv04DFyOMYu7-tLg67Bz/s1600-h/nakhal.fort.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218857878534510002" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="137" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqvD5W516MbEI32KddPXyti6bzlnrKPlH8KRzm5IvvNV721zayH1PeEuvW5-hvLCJRORq9RGSygRvjxQ2AhWDewmHuldpS63GZpWxMAqgFoy85RbnvUv04DFyOMYu7-tLg67Bz/s320/nakhal.fort.jpg" width="226" border="0" /></a>are of when I have made the assumptions or expectations.</div><br /><div></div><div>Awareness, for me, starts with listening. Awareness comes from truly hearing what is being said...in all forms of communication. But listening is not enough. I have to combine listening with a willingness to lay down my defenses and barriers. And that's the hardest part--to listen without formulating a counter or opposing point of view.</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-50959397562982612702008-07-01T15:16:00.003-05:002008-07-02T15:21:41.588-05:00Here We Go Again...What a difference a week makes! I just re-read the previous post entitled <em><a href="http://livingwithintegrity.blogspot.com/2008/06/what-is-love_25.html">What is Love?</a></em><br /><em></em><br />With that post, I feel like I may have jumped into the deep end of the pool. It's almost humorous. It is as if God is saying, "That's all great philosophy...but now let's see how you put it into practice!"<br /><br />You see, I've been on a dating haitus. I decided I'm not going to get involved with anyone. I'm going to focus my energy on Christ and my relationship with Him. I also decided to focus my energy on really determining what it is that I want in my life as far as a partner is concerned.<br /><br />Now for the context.<br /><br />Last monday, a member of a forum I frequent contacted me. The other member lives in my city and we happened to be in the same part of town...actually about two blocks away, so I walked down the street and we met each other in person.<br /><br />I wasn't thinking a thing. (Remember, dating was not in my "plan"?) So we chatted. We both grew up in the same denomination and so we shared our stories. And when the invitation to meet again later for dinner came, I went along without much of a thought. (I know...I'm a bit naive!)<br /><br /><p>Well...long story short, we've really kicked it off and have spent some time together over the last week. So what's wrong? Nothing...yet. I'm a bit cynical. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. </p><p>The question that I'm faced with now is "what do we do now?" As I stated before, this was not part of my plan. I realize that the more I try <em>not</em> to fall, the harder I do. What's up with that?</p><p>So, what do I do now? I guess I go forward one moment at a time and take the time necessary to really get to know this person who seems to be so "perfect" now. </p><p>But there's part of me that seizes up and thinks, <em>here we go again.</em></p>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-32117590379902478902008-06-25T08:00:00.002-05:002008-06-25T08:05:19.997-05:00What is Love?Along with learning to live well, learning to love is one of my primary goals.<br /><br />But what <em>is</em> love? I've been asking this question for a few months since the dissolution of my last relationship. <em>What is it that I really want?<br /></em><br />Everyone is searching for love, yet we seem to know instinctively that it's really inside us. Still we seek for it everywhere. <em>Will I know it when I find it?</em> We wonder. <em>Have I known true love in my life or is what I'm seeking even out there?<br /></em><br />I've known my share of infatuations. I've felt in love. But I wonder if I've ever truly loved.<br /><br />All of these uncertainties and questions cloud my view of what is or is not reality. Yet I know that for me, the major objective of my life is to love. And the more I tune in to what I instinctively know about love, the more I fight off the wolves of my own fear regarding this unknown wilderness.<br /><br />It's the "...but what if...?" questions that get me.<br /><br />True love is ever-expanding and unlimited. <em>But what if no one returns my love?</em><br /><p>Love is not a feeling or emotion it is a way of being. <em>But what if I never </em>feel<em> loved?</em></p><p>Love is complete surrender. <em>But what if someone takes advantage?</em></p><p>Love is absolute trust. <em>But what if someone betrays that trust?</em></p><p>Love is defenseless and unconditional. <em>But what if it is never returned?</em></p><p align="center">Love is knowing all the questions and choosign to love anyway.<br /><br /></p>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-80313963797590053512008-06-22T14:49:00.011-05:002008-06-22T15:13:30.827-05:00Living Well<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuejZJ086qu3Xa5lcMHYOAr4_MTha5dIcaqs4NFCSvw9Y6nArMNj6am_cqT0kMJcBLOXdZLWGklIOa_XTBn5Beh06zYjU9rri6nA4h5xjdDhFHoredvG9wTmjSSxcZGO9-3-WH/s1600-h/OR0002-055.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5214799610054404722" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 140px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 210px" height="186" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuejZJ086qu3Xa5lcMHYOAr4_MTha5dIcaqs4NFCSvw9Y6nArMNj6am_cqT0kMJcBLOXdZLWGklIOa_XTBn5Beh06zYjU9rri6nA4h5xjdDhFHoredvG9wTmjSSxcZGO9-3-WH/s320/OR0002-055.jpg" width="179" border="0" /></a>One of my primary goals is to learn to live well. <div><div><br /><div>Learning to live is a process. The only way to learn to live is to go through it. But to expand beyond existence to living--and living well--is a true challenge that requires focus and discipline.</div><br /><div></div><div>My hope is that soon, the focus and discipline will create habits of what, at this point, seems unnatural and soon I will find myself living well, naturally. </div><div><br />At first, it seems like all work, but then there are small victories where I realize that I'm fulfilling my objective--through the process--and that I am living a well life. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz3jhgvH3xiBL0F6qpXhcVqgb5nQXedlSLbTSrYTs8r-grEZDZlHC4KuDil8XLTqskHAMuUdpd6_xwgAML_R6lAYlxA4HsJXqB-zVNYEEJovOxkpJoZeSylZaHEEHrb7r1ol9P/s1600-h/happiness.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5214799665668902722" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" height="134" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz3jhgvH3xiBL0F6qpXhcVqgb5nQXedlSLbTSrYTs8r-grEZDZlHC4KuDil8XLTqskHAMuUdpd6_xwgAML_R6lAYlxA4HsJXqB-zVNYEEJovOxkpJoZeSylZaHEEHrb7r1ol9P/s320/happiness.jpg" width="175" border="0" /></a></div><div></div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz3jhgvH3xiBL0F6qpXhcVqgb5nQXedlSLbTSrYTs8r-grEZDZlHC4KuDil8XLTqskHAMuUdpd6_xwgAML_R6lAYlxA4HsJXqB-zVNYEEJovOxkpJoZeSylZaHEEHrb7r1ol9P/s1600-h/happiness.jpg"></a></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz3jhgvH3xiBL0F6qpXhcVqgb5nQXedlSLbTSrYTs8r-grEZDZlHC4KuDil8XLTqskHAMuUdpd6_xwgAML_R6lAYlxA4HsJXqB-zVNYEEJovOxkpJoZeSylZaHEEHrb7r1ol9P/s1600-h/happiness.jpg"></a></div><div>It's then that I realize that I'm also experiencing happiness, joy and peace...and they all seem to be the byproducts of the effort I have exerted to learn how to live a well-lived life. </div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_tRdS-XLXl-ux_8Tbs4KX_GJk9mYgkzkp0yWJGbLTY17u3ctD7hp2vQIbnu-XbjrIdr8BO6Udp-TcWZlEwcxjPB3Xatc7wSmaV0Q8cjolDd2az3VK4Mn_9OS6zsmZNJcfuAzK/s1600-h/800px-Lake_Crescent_trees.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5214799729001239826" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 258px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 165px" height="82" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_tRdS-XLXl-ux_8Tbs4KX_GJk9mYgkzkp0yWJGbLTY17u3ctD7hp2vQIbnu-XbjrIdr8BO6Udp-TcWZlEwcxjPB3Xatc7wSmaV0Q8cjolDd2az3VK4Mn_9OS6zsmZNJcfuAzK/s320/800px-Lake_Crescent_trees.jpg" width="276" border="0" /></a>I find that living well is a daily--even momentary--choice. But it is worth the effort and the rewards are eternal.</div><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div><br /></div></div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-56710815312356909312008-06-19T08:00:00.003-05:002008-06-19T08:08:56.066-05:00Control vs. DirectionI started this set of posts on the mind and thoughts talking about how to control our thoughts; <div><br /><div>I close it by dashing all hope. <em>The mind is uncontrollable.</em></div><div></div><br /><div>The more you <em>try </em>to control the mind, the more you focus your energy and time in the direction that your thoughts are focused.</div><div></div><br /><div>If you are trying <em>not</em> to think about a certain subject, the effort of struggling against those thoughts ensures that you will focus exactly where you do not want to. This often leads us to feel despondent and depressed. </div><br /><div></div><div>At the beginning, I said that there is no hope of controlling your mind or thoughts and this is true. There <em>is</em> hope however of directing your thoughts.</div><br /><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvDqkxbEhV_QQkCVaPcCx66wkIzc3ao7Dgxo7mMm9uu_rvOwaSpr6vkJcq4aSDsxuNbmw4F1NuqVKBPjLzmL05IUTvg5PtvOszo-zXxQ4OfQsc6jiBFq8I2Rs4nAVNvIKNdDf/s1600-h/snD4elRj.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211822018941807554" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 176px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 212px" height="217" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvDqkxbEhV_QQkCVaPcCx66wkIzc3ao7Dgxo7mMm9uu_rvOwaSpr6vkJcq4aSDsxuNbmw4F1NuqVKBPjLzmL05IUTvg5PtvOszo-zXxQ4OfQsc6jiBFq8I2Rs4nAVNvIKNdDf/s320/snD4elRj.jpg" width="89" border="0" /></a>You are like the air controller holding the flashlights before the nose a giant 747. There is nothing in your power you can do to stop the advancement of the plane. If you struggle against it, you will be run over and crushed. </div><br /><div></div><div>You <em>can</em> direct it, however. You have the power to use your emotions like signals and focus your thoughts to direct the power of your mind in the direction in which you would like to go.</div><br /><div></div><div>So I have found that my thoughts have <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLEhdxQTkoK0Px8RJgY8tvH6B2sao0ErYUom0-UaFGA6g-Xpf01_KhugOLuGRRSunfhVysAAtcX_BUSFhlBJ4aqdeSJCGMWFCPpBu7PLjJzpQP72U7kD_pNVlsjRql4hrcrmBZ/s1600-h/231-focus.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211822082542719154" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 188px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 160px" height="247" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLEhdxQTkoK0Px8RJgY8tvH6B2sao0ErYUom0-UaFGA6g-Xpf01_KhugOLuGRRSunfhVysAAtcX_BUSFhlBJ4aqdeSJCGMWFCPpBu7PLjJzpQP72U7kD_pNVlsjRql4hrcrmBZ/s320/231-focus.jpg" width="193" border="0" /></a>great power. They create or destroy but they are not me. And your thoughts are not you. They are just patterns and habits that can be changed and refocused. </div><div></div><div> </div><div>And this is encouraging. It is true power--if we have the discipline and energy to use it. The key is focus, focus, focus.</div></div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-16136011597554662412008-06-16T08:00:00.000-05:002008-06-16T08:00:02.838-05:00Focused Thought Drives EmotionWhy is it that we seek distraction from our emotions? We easily dole out advice such as "just don't think about it." When someone's down, we try to "get them out of the house." Instinct tells us that what we think about makes us feel a certain way.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaN0jmuBOdVw4nCsUIhQnq0kSJx0-Qp7ArpdbVq_v5DLAin6BBQkmbDE6cuhJh7LKcOlCVPGT6zKgqmmoInHXcmu1U_VTR-lJufd7iPvSHvlCzh-_80ExdgWvjvP3iCNbiNTXN/s1600-h/redflag.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211816211038862130" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 133px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 126px" height="164" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaN0jmuBOdVw4nCsUIhQnq0kSJx0-Qp7ArpdbVq_v5DLAin6BBQkmbDE6cuhJh7LKcOlCVPGT6zKgqmmoInHXcmu1U_VTR-lJufd7iPvSHvlCzh-_80ExdgWvjvP3iCNbiNTXN/s320/redflag.gif" width="156" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><div></div><div>Emotions are our greatest assistants, though, when it comes to the affairs of the mind. Our emotions are red flags that signal us when things are out of balance. Our emotions help us to become aware of where our mind is focused. </div><div></div><div></div><div>Why is awareness of our mind so important? The mind wanders. It is nearly impossible to hedge in the wanderings of the mind. It moves too quickly and in too many directions. </div><br /><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7RyvvlCsh1-Lo5gnI83QK4QuXngE83AEy6bOQgSUfd3qIXeDhB0Bl3rd11pF1SAY1kxAkPGFsVzuLmM-qbhmj4TlMYC8Y6QS9MxtYdaYydtXgMdpqllzuuj6bNXYA-B3AoVGu/s1600-h/icon_direction.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211816515448195154" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 132px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 120px" height="196" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7RyvvlCsh1-Lo5gnI83QK4QuXngE83AEy6bOQgSUfd3qIXeDhB0Bl3rd11pF1SAY1kxAkPGFsVzuLmM-qbhmj4TlMYC8Y6QS9MxtYdaYydtXgMdpqllzuuj6bNXYA-B3AoVGu/s320/icon_direction.gif" width="113" border="0" /></a>It is important to be aware of where our mind is focused though, because our focus determines the direction of our life. When our mind is unfocused, we are drifting and disorganized. This lack of focus leads to feelings of stress, frustration and helplessness (which are all red flags to let us know that we need to focus).</div><br /><div></div><div>The key is this: you have the choice. Pay attention to your emotions, and be willing to feel them. Don't become frustrated with them. Instead, ask the question: what am I thinking and where is my focus?</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-57883288261131001772008-06-15T13:44:00.002-05:002008-06-15T13:47:29.430-05:00A Great Prayer<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqGTX71AeI3FvMrBa1Eb9WwEJZOejM-YxxfGpetsuEfylfi0aPquzsZPE3J51FxtPJTIFgDIYUCB_QQWhyv9FLz9sF4NJ54pbr9lA_63sxOxkfq-Ye-NhEREX1oiZxiP4bs75P/s1600-h/Mary%2520Queen%2520of%2520Scots%2520aged%25205.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212181670990560322" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 154px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 170px" height="210" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqGTX71AeI3FvMrBa1Eb9WwEJZOejM-YxxfGpetsuEfylfi0aPquzsZPE3J51FxtPJTIFgDIYUCB_QQWhyv9FLz9sF4NJ54pbr9lA_63sxOxkfq-Ye-NhEREX1oiZxiP4bs75P/s320/Mary%2520Queen%2520of%2520Scots%2520aged%25205.jpg" width="185" border="0" /></a>Keep us, O God, from pettiness; let us be large in thought, in word, in deed.<br /><div></div><br /><div>Let us be done with faultfinding and leave off self-seeking.</div><div></div><br /><div>May we put away all pretenses and meet each other, face to face, without self-pity and without prejudice.</div><div></div><br /><div>May we never be hasty in judgment and always generous.</div><div></div><br /><div>Let us take time for all things; make us to grow calm, serene, gentle. </div><div></div><br /><div>Teach us to put in action our better impulses-straightforward and unafraid.</div><br /><div></div><div>Grant that we may realize it is the little things of life that create difficulties; that in the big things of life we are as one.</div><div></div><br /><div>Oh, Lord, let us not forget to be kind.Amen. - Mary Stewart, Queen of Scots</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-63840863143629572692008-06-13T19:25:00.004-05:002008-06-13T19:39:40.106-05:00"Think on These Things"Yeah, right!<br /><div></div><div> </div><div>I know what you're thinking. <em>Easier said than done.</em> Right?</div><div></div><br /><div>So many of us "struggle" with our thoughts (or at least we <em>talk</em> about struggling with them). And St. Paul gives us very clear instructions in the Scriptures: <em>Whatever things are true, honest, just, pure and lovely...think on these things.</em></div><div><em></em></div><br /><div>The truth is, most of us don't and that's just how it is. </div><div></div><br /><div>We tend to focus on the subject of the mind/thought struggle in the area of sex and sexuality. We talk about things like fantasizing. </div><div></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJluUCr4mTeqMHJGhnG_kc8B7mBuzEWW2pd9jhyuIpopeRZRX9utmNsSaTb-R7gKFimUlCiQ7bgJAKwLjDJl02jb9YphLw97pJU2rXNoyctkDJoK2ko3UoXTOQjfEErQk9vUK/s1600-h/monsters_inc_pic_02.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211529656131811394" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 151px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 155px" height="201" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJluUCr4mTeqMHJGhnG_kc8B7mBuzEWW2pd9jhyuIpopeRZRX9utmNsSaTb-R7gKFimUlCiQ7bgJAKwLjDJl02jb9YphLw97pJU2rXNoyctkDJoK2ko3UoXTOQjfEErQk9vUK/s320/monsters_inc_pic_02.jpg" width="166" border="0" /></a>So how do we control this "monster" of the mind?</div><div></div><br /><div>There are some simple principles that will help you control your thought patterns if you understand some basic principles about how your mind works. I use these tools all the time and hope they'll be a help.</div><div></div><br /><div>I'm going to use the next few posts to discuss some of these principles.</div><div></div><br /><div><u><strong>Don't Struggle!</strong></u></div><div>You're probably thinking, <em>what are you talking about--don't struggle?</em></div><div></div><br /><div>The truth is you will never win when you are fighting your mind. It is a wonderful creation and the Scripture tells us that even we cannot know our own minds (heart).</div><div></div><br /><div>If you struggle against whatever you're currently focused on, it will only magnify that thought in the reality of your own mind.</div><div></div><br /><div>Whatever emotions are created from the thoughts you are thinking will only intensify. If you're experiencing frustration, your frustration will increase. If you're experiencing anger, stress or uncertainty, then they will only increase as you focus on them. (The same works for positive emotions, if you're saavy enough to notice and make use of the amazing mind you possess).</div><br /><div></div><div>And this leads us right to the second principle: focused thought drives your emotions.</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-67275908789198948462008-06-11T17:04:00.002-05:002008-06-11T17:12:22.080-05:00The Fear of Questioning Everything<center></center><center>The path to holiness lies through questioning <em>everything.</em></center><br />I didn't really struggle much with my sexuality prior to coming out to myself. I was so far in the back of the closet, I think I remember visiting one afternoon with a faun named Tumnus. Basically, I was in <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidrfxU1cEHBfNDZ1sMzfIakCXHJA3ZnHcE91yHhJpPMwySZQorNYrAkD24L9p3USRvb5mnBOLKVb43FJG28Jyq9gzPIvTXUcWJGxScMIIQK9F3YKRvKRHuoelkKVw-ijSV5N3O/s1600-h/tumnus.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210024142829951474" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 131px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 182px" height="187" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidrfxU1cEHBfNDZ1sMzfIakCXHJA3ZnHcE91yHhJpPMwySZQorNYrAkD24L9p3USRvb5mnBOLKVb43FJG28Jyq9gzPIvTXUcWJGxScMIIQK9F3YKRvKRHuoelkKVw-ijSV5N3O/s320/tumnus.jpg" width="116" border="0" /></a>another world, psychologically, and that probably preserved my sanity growing up.<br /><br />I never allowed myself to much consider the feelings and thoughts of my own heart and what it really meant to who I was as a person.<br /><br />After coming out to myself, I reconciled my faith and sexuality fairly seamlessly in a matter of two or three months. There was about a 20-something year prep period for that sudden realization, however.<br /><br />One of the things I have struggled a bit with is challenging and questioning everything I believe.<br /><br />Over the last weeks, I have been reading M. Scott Peck's classic, <em>The Road Less Traveled. </em>Toward the end of the book, the author makes this insightful observation.<br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote><p align="left">The road to spiritual growth, however, lies in...distrusting what we already<br />believe, by actively seeking the threatening and unfamiliar, by deliberately<br />challenging the validity of what we have previously been taught and hold dear.</p></blockquote><p align="left"><br /><br />As I mentioned in the previous post, many of us struggle with this process because in <em>normal</em> religious training, we're often discouraged from questioning authority.<br /><br />Think about this, though. God does not need you to protect Him from your own questioning. Truth is never threatened. Men and the power with which they influence others is threatened.<br /><br />In fact, God seems welcoming of our questions and uncertainties<em>. Try me. Test me. Prove me. </em>This is His plea--over and over again. Why?<br /><br />God yearns for you and you alone. He does not need to manipulate you. He loves you.<br /><br />Free will. The sincerest test of true love, and the most benificent gift of grace. </p>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-87086237579133538872008-06-09T17:42:00.004-05:002008-06-09T18:03:44.336-05:00Only BelieveWhen I first realized that I had been dangerously hood-winked by my society, church, family and spiritual leaders regarding my own sexuality, I determined to really consider closely some beliefs and behaviors that I'd easily taken for granted before. As I began to question my beliefs and all I'd been taught, fear started to seep in.<br /><div></div><br /><div><em>What if I'm wrong? </em></div><div><em></em></div><br /><div><em>Are </em>they<em> really right, and I've missed the boat?<br /></em></div><br /><div><em>Had God given up on me and turned me over to the dreaded "reprobate mind"?</em></div><div></div><br /><div><em>Am I purposely deceiving myself so I can do whatever I want? </em>(I don't think I am...I mean, I really don't <em>want</em> to fool myself. I really want to know the truth.)</div><br /><div></div><div>Over and over again, those fears and second-guessings sat themselves down on my shoulders and whispered fear in my ears. Again and again, they brought to mind scriptures that I knew well --and that had at one time been a comfort and stability to me--and castigated me with them.</div><br /><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qRxXryUVcq-YiwD65pjwxZeKDz44x8F354U_CfLvrQa6APrTxDTmzCzeQh61YKBdrLm5J6ASNigfQaQZ-oKfLSJ6ao8YRiWVDyt7RMDfD-mdZInaV6F9Ku-GAyNk69x_NvMV/s1600-h/truth.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210021052931611154" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 162px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 124px" height="115" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qRxXryUVcq-YiwD65pjwxZeKDz44x8F354U_CfLvrQa6APrTxDTmzCzeQh61YKBdrLm5J6ASNigfQaQZ-oKfLSJ6ao8YRiWVDyt7RMDfD-mdZInaV6F9Ku-GAyNk69x_NvMV/s320/truth.jpg" width="177" border="0" /></a>I was going crazy. I had to know the truth. My restoration began in the form of a simple, four-word prayer: <em>Lord, show me truth.</em></div><br /><div><em></em></div><div>And He did. As I prayed this prayer over and over, with a pure heart, He opened my understanding and spoke peace to my heart. The enemy still challenged me, questioning every sweet assurance that my Father whispered to me. </div><br /><div></div><div>But I chose to believe. I was practicing a biblical principle at the time, I just didn't realize it. <em>Ask with faith...and do not waver </em>(that's my paraphrase).</div><br /><div></div><div>What's my point? God can show us truth. His Holy Spirit can confirm it to our hearts, but we are responsible to believe.</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-30938111300206243892008-06-07T14:19:00.005-05:002008-06-08T17:13:19.623-05:00"And You Invited Me In"<div align="center">For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me </div><div align="center">a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into </div><div align="center">your home. <span style="font-size:85%;">Matthew25:35</span></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7STMj16KTyls222_rXNFWMqu_SPEO2TVpbqYjWhQjvW5jPRfjrkermYPhbXXKVQ9YDNnQN5ZwO7SJoIx6vWdiN5UxYzaP2DiQ4HiRSgYBofZPkFk7htVmgTEicaC0X0JX8f7P/s1600-h/cover.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5209636897270320530" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="245" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7STMj16KTyls222_rXNFWMqu_SPEO2TVpbqYjWhQjvW5jPRfjrkermYPhbXXKVQ9YDNnQN5ZwO7SJoIx6vWdiN5UxYzaP2DiQ4HiRSgYBofZPkFk7htVmgTEicaC0X0JX8f7P/s320/cover.jpg" width="175" border="0" /></a>I recently finished reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/You-Invited-Me-Novel/dp/1582701660/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1212866780&sr=8-1"><em>And You Invited Me In</em> </a>by Cheryl Moss Tyler. This is Ms. Tyler's first novel and it tells the story of Annie and her family as they are faced with imminent death of her brother Alex, who has contracted the AIDS virus.<br /><br /><div align="left">There is a struggle between Annie's desire to follow the leading of God's Holy Spirit to show mercy and kindness to Alex and his partner, Scott during the last few months of Alex's life, and the social pressure and ostracism from friends in their small town and at church. </div><br /><div align="left"></div>As I first started this book, I found myself looking for something that would really connect me to the main characters of the story. There are a lot of sub-plots and often abrupt and seemingly disconnected revelations. I didn't connect to the central plot.<br /><br /><div align="left">But as the story came to an end, I found myself much more invested than I realized at first. It was as if these characters and their struggle sneaked into my heart and I was there in the room with them.</div><br /><div align="left">It is a timely story, and one that anyone with an evangelical or conservative Christian background will no doubt relate to.</div>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24874835.post-25533088183473048242008-06-06T20:53:00.001-05:002008-06-06T21:19:14.878-05:00What is Love?What is love? How do I know it? <br /><br />I know in my own life, what I have experienced as love in a myriad of relationships has been almost universally mis-identified and misunderstood.<br /><br />In the section on Love in his book <span style="font-style: italic;">The Road Less Traveled</span>, M. Scott Peck defines love as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."<br /><br />Later he contends that "true love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed."<br /><blockquote><br />(Love) is a committed, thoughtful decision. </blockquote><br />He continues: "The common tendency to confuse love with the feeling of love allows people all manner of self-deception."<br /><br />This truth hit me like a sledge hammer. Nearly all the drama in my relationships has been caused by my confusion of "the feeling of love" with love itself. I still am not sure of all the implications of this new understanding, but I am spending some time really thinking about this. <br /><br />All kinds of questions pop up about the importance of "chemistry" and the "feelings" and "emotions" that make up our modern concept of love. I am growing as I develop my own understanding of love and from that understanding, choose what experience I want for my life.<br /><br />What is love? Perhaps the poet says it best. <span style="font-style: italic;">Love is a many-splendored thing.</span>The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11664299500375323608noreply@blogger.com0