For Such a Time as This...

In the Old Testament, Queen Esther was asked a rhetorical question that has come to symbolize all the poignancy and the potential of the courage it takes to face destiny and act in the face of fear.

"Who knows if you have come to the Kingdom for such a time as this...?"

Last night, I watched Prayers for Bobby on the Lifetime channel. This is the true story of a Christian mother coming to terms with the suicide of her gay son. Because of the subject matter, it is at once heart-rending but also uplifting.

(view the trailer)

It shows that from the deepest agony and the bitterest sorrow and the most intense regret can grow the greatest courage, love and virtue.

Although this incident happened several decades ago, something in me knows that this film is for our time.

This film is essential. Why? Because my brothers and sisters still suffer. They cry. They depress. And they die. And it is enough.

Those of us who claim the name of Christ should have been the first to speak for the unspoken for, not the last. We are here. We must appear. We must speak. We must be.

And we must each--gay, straight, human--speak with kindness and love. Let us err on the side of love. And let the words of Bobby's mother be our admonition.

"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and
remember, a child is listening."

Character: Assets and Liabilities

Occasionally our lives are blessed with people who cause us to be the highest version of ourselves.

By their quiet actions and soft words they inspire the best within us and profoundly change the way we live our lives. They alter us by jarring us from the fantasy world of mindless thought and ill-chosen actions to the reality of conscious and focused habit.
I had such a jarring experience recently.

My most valuable asset is the friend who inspires me to be the best version of myself. In this sense, I am so wealthy!

I've always wanted to be a person of good character. But sometimes I just am not. I'm weak. I make excuses. And honestly, there's a certain comfort in doing the easy thing.

Recently there was an experience I had in which I was making excuses to myself. It felt good to follow the path of least resistence. Perhaps you know this path. First I made excuses to myself. Then I allowed myself "flex" space...I'll go with the flow...up to a certain point.

That was when a friend stood strong and said, "no." There was no accusation and no shame...just the unbending 'no.'

Afterwards, I was so thankful. I hope I will be just such a friend.

The Shame of Thoughtlessness

About a year ago, I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. It was this: every moment of our lives we choose to be the man or woman that we become!

It may seem obvious, but I remember standing in my bathroom looking myself in the eye and thinking, “This is not the person I am.” With that realization, I immediately began living according to the dictates of the character that I desired.

Each of us faces our internal demons and often we fall prey to actions based in habits unconsciously formed. It is at this point that the shame of our thoughtlessness continually barrages our minds.

We think thoughts such as “How could I have done that?” or “What was I thinking?”

The truth is often that we are not thinking at all. Yet when our mind catches up to us, we feel ashamed that we have been making choices and living so unconsciously.

But it is precisely at the moment of renewed consciousness when we are most powerful. That moment of presence is the time to make better (or different) choices. It is in that moment of lucidity that our power lies.

At those moments, our souls stand before a spiritual mirror and ask who we are and who we will become. It is in the power of our will to answer that question—to choose what manner of man or woman we will be.

I'm Back!

I'm back!

I'm not only back to the world of blogging--meaning I now have a computer again--but I am also back from the annual conference of the Gay Christian Network (GCN) which was held in Anaheim, California last week.

During the week, I had the distinct blessing to meet with several other bloggers for dinner. We discussed several topics relevent to blogging, but mostly just initiated and nurtured friendships.
It was a great event, and I encourage you to look in to attending a future event with this organization.

Just an aside...on the last post, I wrote about the idea of holiness versus purity. Well, it's interesting, because I was reading some news wires a few weeks ago and read an article that indicated that the "purity" movement had done nothing to stem the tide of pre-marital sex but instead seemed to correspond to an increase in the spread of STDs.

I hope to be blogging now a little more regularly. Thanks to those of you who have stayed with me during this "off" time.