Only Believe

When I first realized that I had been dangerously hood-winked by my society, church, family and spiritual leaders regarding my own sexuality, I determined to really consider closely some beliefs and behaviors that I'd easily taken for granted before. As I began to question my beliefs and all I'd been taught, fear started to seep in.

What if I'm wrong?

Are they really right, and I've missed the boat?

Had God given up on me and turned me over to the dreaded "reprobate mind"?

Am I purposely deceiving myself so I can do whatever I want? (I don't think I am...I mean, I really don't want to fool myself. I really want to know the truth.)

Over and over again, those fears and second-guessings sat themselves down on my shoulders and whispered fear in my ears. Again and again, they brought to mind scriptures that I knew well --and that had at one time been a comfort and stability to me--and castigated me with them.

I was going crazy. I had to know the truth. My restoration began in the form of a simple, four-word prayer: Lord, show me truth.

And He did. As I prayed this prayer over and over, with a pure heart, He opened my understanding and spoke peace to my heart. The enemy still challenged me, questioning every sweet assurance that my Father whispered to me.

But I chose to believe. I was practicing a biblical principle at the time, I just didn't realize it. Ask with faith...and do not waver (that's my paraphrase).

What's my point? God can show us truth. His Holy Spirit can confirm it to our hearts, but we are responsible to believe.