Emotional Scratching Posts

I am finally reading the bestselling Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Ms. Gilbert chronicles the year she took to travel to Italy, India and Indonesia in search of pleasure, prayer and the balance between the two.

The book is enchanting on many levels. I'm part-way through it and already have found things that have dramatically influenced my perspective of life and how I experience it. There is one statement regarding learning to live with loneliness that I read today that profoundly impacted me.

So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with i, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

I think the reason that this resonated with me is that I have felt the same. In the past, I have expected others to fulfill me. Relationships are my comfort zone. As I've said before on previous posts, I want a successful, life-long relationship.

However, I am learning that in order to have the relationship that I desire, I have to learn to stand on my own. I have to learn to experience loneliness and not run from it; but embrace it as a friend and allow it to stay or go without needing someone or something to pacify me or distract me in its presence.