"A Time for Every Purpose"

A friend called last night and asked me about dating. HA!

Since when have I become a resource on the subject of dating? (Last year, an important relationship of mine ended badly; a few months ago my most resent relationship ended and now I'm single)

"It's so hard...there's so much drama," he complained.

That is true. Involving someone in your life does create a certain set of added complications. However most of us don't take time when we face obstacles. Almost anything we attempt to do in life can be accomplished through taking the proper time.

If we fail, it is often because we did not take the time to educate ourselves properly. If we do not succeed, it may be because we have not taken the proper time to collect sufficient resources. If we still struggle, it is often because we have not taken the time and energy to prepare ourselves, physically, mentally or emotionally for the endeavor.

Time is essential to the success of any task.

Dating is no different. And so, for me, this means taking the time to be single. Grrrrrr! I hate being single. And yet, I want a successful and healthy relationship in the future, so I am determined to take the present moment to prepare for that eventuality.

It is not just spending the time that allows us to be successful. Investing time is how we create the proper return in our lives. And the #1 rule of investing is discipline. Discipline means a focused, clear and determined application of energy toward the attainment of a worthwhile goal.

During my time of singleness, this means focusing clearly on my relationship with Christ and really articulating what it is that I hope to see happen as I grow closer to Him. It also means using my time wisely to go to the dark places.

Do you have "dark places" in your life? These are the old emotional wounds, the deep hurts and past failings that haunt our present. I have them. I have tried to avoid them. I have suppressed them. And I have run away from them.

But problems don't go away. My refusing to accept responsibility for my "ghosts" does not make them any less real.

If the relationship must be gotten over, then it must be me who takes the time to get over it.

If the degree must be completed, then it must be me who completes it.

If the debt must be paid off, then it must be me who pays it.

There is no "short-cut." There is no easy out. It is discipline and determination.

And if there is a prize to be won in a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it must be me who trains arduously through this season of singleness for the day of glory and the gold medal of commitment placed around my neck.