What about the relationship that doesn't end up the way you would like it to?
What should you do if the person you love doesn't have the same feelings?
What if you're not in the same place in life?
What if he is older?
What if you're younger?
What if she's more experienced than you are?
What if he's more attractive than you are?
What if she is smarter or more settled?
What is the key to bridging the gaps between the differences between any two people? The power of allowing is the answer.
Freedom in Allowance
Allowing a person to simply "be" is the first step toward authentic relationship in any area of life, but what does this mean and how is it applied practically?
Michael Kelly says it this way: "Acceptance means being a benevolent witness to a person's journey, rather than an emotionally manipulative or dictatorial force in it." That's all any of us are
really--witnesses of one another's journeys.Benevolence in this instance, speaks of the kindness of allowing--of refusing to assert control over another person's free will. The most beautiful expression of this "allowing" is a conscious, personal disconnection from the outcome of any given situation within the relationship.
By choosing to disassociate my identity from the results of another's thoughts or actions, I allow him or her to grow and to follow his or her own path. I have become a "benevolent" witness--an observer of another's being.
You and I cannot be responsible to live one another's lives. The extent to which we attempt to impose our ideas, thoughts, and prejudices on the life of another person determines the level of stress and frustration we experience in the relationship.
Allow. Choose to release internal resistance to the circumstances of the relationship. Only then will you be free to really be in the relationship.
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